Friday, March 17, 2017

Here I am...

It was hard, but I had to. The guilt was killing me, for abandoning a space that has given me so much in the past, for letting the morsel of thoughts and words dry up so willingly, and lastly, for closing a wonderful cathartic window. So here I am, a fifteen-months-old mother, hacking away ferociously at the keyboard as the toddler naps and wishing this peace lasted for a little extra handful of minutes today.

Here I am, brimming with all sorts of change and newness, and most times I'm not sure how do I handle them all. When I look back --- and I did read some of my old posts before composing this --- it feels like someone else's life now. The books, the bakes, and the truckloads of sweet time that I basked in sipping tea, composing Instagram posts, following late night reruns of Friends... Before I diverge again, it's the newness that I must concentrate on. So much has happened in this past one year, so much so that, if I could I would (my favorite expression/excuse these days) dedicate one post to each of them. But time isn't my best friend at the moment and hence, I mustn't tarry.

Here I am, trying to get adjusted to a new clock and a new country (a new continent for that matter!). We moved to London earlier this year and it's only since a fortnight or so, that it has begun to feel a little settled. Of course, between all the peekaboo games inside the shipment boxes and the bubblewrap-chewing help at hand, we feel immensely victorious (and proud!) that we could actually put together a decent home in terms of functionality and aesthetics.

Here I am, watching a mimosa tree flower recklessly in our garden downstairs. Such an assuring yellow, its blossoms! Spring is here --- yes, finally --- and with the blossoming of the earth, I hope to blossom back my way here despite my mindless shutting down of this blog in a feeble attempt of hoarding my nostalgia just like old clothes and photographs in shoeboxes. It had to take one big, earth-shaking move and even bigger moments of creative frustration that convinced me to reopen this vent, revisit what was and will always be mine, and in turn open up through words. Ah, the darling words!

And finally, here I am, with a new name --- Scattered Poems ---- because that is who I am now, I feel. A bit of everything, a bit of everywhere.

A big, blooming, hello to all my blog friends.

Curiouser and curiouser! 

4 comments:

  1. Hello Suman,
    How lovely to see your post and I am so happy you have continued to blog. You have a beautiful voice in the blogosphere and I missed it, as I am sure many have.
    So delighted to see your beautiful child. I hope your life in London will be all you have dreamed of.
    Helen zz

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    Replies
    1. Hello back, Helen!
      Thank you so much for your kind and heartwarming words. Makes me more determined to be a regular here. :)
      Hope you're having a great time in France.

      Suman. X.

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  2. I am so glad that you are back here! I love your words!
    Love
    Celine

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the lovely welcome note, my dear C. I'm happy to be back too. :)

      Delete

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